I have put off writing this post, certain that when I finally publish it, only then will it become a reality.
In July, my husband, aka MacGyver, went to the doctor because he had not been feeling well, and they found a mass. My larger-than-life husband had a larger-than-life mass. It was cancer. Shock, confusion, and fear prevailed, and for nearly two months, I was barely able to function, or to write. (As some semblance of normalcy has recently returned to our lives, I hope to return to blogging on a more regular basis, because I enjoy it and because I miss you.)
The past few months are a blur of doctor appointments, consultations, tests and scans, hours on the phone with the insurance company, hospitals, surgery, ICU, recovery, notes, paperwork, bills, and learning to deal with our new circumstances. People ask how we are doing and I reply simply, “We are doing.”
Until it attacked us, I did not comprehend the physical, mental, financial, emotional, and spiritual exhaustion that cancer causes. It is absolutely all-consuming. The disease weighs on us every moment of every day, and yet, we still need to work, feed the family, chauffeur the kids, and at the end of the day, there is always the never-ending mountain of laundry that is waiting to be done. However, with the support of very generous and caring people, our family and friends, life, somehow, goes on. One foot in front of the other. One day at a time.
And how do we get through each day? We pray for strength. I pray for MacGyver and for our family. I hold my family and every person whose life has been touched by cancer in my darkened heart. As each day passes, another teeny, tiny sliver of light shines in. A glimmer of joy. A ray of happiness. We have hope.
Because cancer has so powerfully reminded our family that life is a very precious, yet uncertain thing, and that each wondrous minute we have on this Earth is more valuable than a priceless diamond, we give thanks every day for our lives and for the people we love. Cancer has taught us this lesson of love.
I hope you will learn from our lesson and do the same. Savor each moment. Tell your family and your friends how thankful you are that they are a part of your life, and how very much you love and appreciate them, while you still have the time…
I know what you’ve been going through, and I know how hard it’s been. I also know from our own experience that eventually life will return to “normal” and the blur of the past few months will be a memory, but the details will fade. Each time we’ve experienced it with another family member (and I’ve reached my limit – NO MORE PLEASE!) it has reminded me how precious my family is (every last one of them!), and also how important that positive attitude is, along with a sense of humor. But I still need to punch him for scaring me to death!
Yes, I know you know all too well. And we all know that we are supposed to love one another, etc., even when it’s really hard to do that sometimes! 😉
What a poignant, beautifully written post. All of us, near and far, are praying for MacGyver’s quick and speedy return to “normalcy.” With love, L.
Thank you. Merci bien! XOXOX
I hated reading this…hate that you and your family are facing such a terrible ordeal. Be strong and fight your battle…pray for strength, wisdom and endurance. I will be thinking of you. Honestly, I was just thinking of your yesterday…wondering what had happened to you–thinking that you were still on a blogging break because of the busy-ness of summer and back to school. Hang in there. xo
François Fasoli said:
Ah, l’amour! Mon redoutable et merveilleux AMOUR !
I love Jacques Brel : Ne me quitte pas…
ou mieux : “Vous connaissez?”
You enjoy him ?
Oui, je le connais. Sa voix est très calme (soothing). Et j’essaie la musicothérapie. Merci!
babyjill7...Marilyn Griffin said:
I have missed you too…and wondered…We don’t like thinking or hearing of sadness with a friend even though a blogging friend…We seem to get inside each other through our writings…I so wish each day will be better for you and your husband…It sounds as though you have support…but, the word itself has become synonymous with grief…sadness…and helplessness…But, as you say…You will also gain strength from those who love and care …and reminds us of our fragile existence…Best to you!…mkg
Thank you for your kind words. Hope to be posting happier things very soon. Merci!
gold price said:
“The best part of life today is being alive and being with my family. I try to say a little prayer of thanks every time I see a beautiful sunny sky. I came through my cancer journey and survived. I take gratitude in the here and now – the present. And birthdays…I used to dread getting a year older, but now I know that birthdays are precious.
Thank you for stopping by and commenting. For years I have said to my friends who complain about getting older, “Consider the alternative!” Enjoy the present. Hope you have a beautiful day! J’espére que vous avez un beau jour! ~FTW