I have put off writing this post, certain that when I finally publish it, only then will it become a reality.

In July, my husband, aka MacGyver, went to the doctor because he had not been feeling well, and they found a mass.  My larger-than-life husband had a larger-than-life mass.  It was cancer.  Shock, confusion, and fear prevailed, and for nearly two months, I was barely able to function, or to write.  (As some semblance of normalcy has recently returned to our lives, I hope to return to blogging on a more regular basis, because I enjoy it and because I miss you.)

The past few months are a blur of doctor appointments, consultations, tests and scans, hours on the phone with the insurance company, hospitals, surgery, ICU, recovery, notes, paperwork, bills, and learning to deal with our new circumstances.  People ask how we are doing and I reply simply, “We are doing.”

Until it attacked us, I did not comprehend the physical, mental, financial, emotional, and spiritual exhaustion that cancer causes.  It is absolutely all-consuming.  The disease weighs on us every moment of every day, and yet, we still need to work, feed the family, chauffeur the kids, and at the end of the day, there is always the never-ending mountain of laundry that is waiting to be done.  However, with the support of very generous and caring people, our family and friends, life, somehow, goes on.  One foot in front of the other.  One day at a time.

And how do we get through each day?  We pray for strength.  I pray for MacGyver and for our family.  I hold my family and every person whose life has been touched by cancer in my darkened heart.  As each day passes, another teeny, tiny sliver of light shines in.  A glimmer of joy.  A ray of happiness.  We have hope.

Because cancer has so powerfully reminded our family that life is a very precious, yet uncertain thing, and that each wondrous minute we have on this Earth is more valuable than a priceless diamond, we give thanks every day for our lives and for the people we love.  Cancer has taught us this lesson of love.

I hope you will learn from our lesson and do the same.  Savor each moment. Tell your family and your friends how thankful you are that they are a part of your life, and how very much you love and appreciate them, while you still have the time…

Je t’embrasse,

With love,

FTW